By Lawrence Pfeil, Jr.
Any way you look at it, 2020 has been a year of unexpected sickness and strife causing grief and unrest with hardship and misfortune like no other. It’s been such a deluge of suffering, Misery lit its “No Vacancy” sign and Murphy suspend his own Law. Many of us have been left ourselves, WTAF is going this year???
That includes myself too, on many occasions. Then it finally dawned on me. Only one thing could fuck shit up this bad.
Apparently in the wee first hours of last New Year’s, one of you drunk ass bitches on her way home saw a cute box with the lid closed. Not being able to mind her own damn business, said to herself, “I think I’ll have peek inside. What could it hurt?”
Still not convinced? See if this sounds familiar.
In the 6th Century BC, the poet, Theognis of Megara described life after Pandora’s box was opened.
“Hope is the only good god remaining among mankind;
the others have left and gone to Olympus.
Trust, a mighty god has gone, Restraint has gone from men,
and the Graces, my friend, have abandoned the earth.
Men’s judicial oaths are no longer to be trusted, nor does anyone
revere the immortal gods; the race of pious men has perished and
men no longer recognize the rules of conduct or acts of piety.”
Too make sure we all don’t have to live through another year like 2020, let’s get 2021 started off with as much lucky, positive energy, good juju, and maximum mojo as possible! To help we’ve compiled a list of New Year’s good luck tradition Dos Don’ts and Foods from the four corners of the world (with a bit of global man candy for a little luck theOUTfront style).
White Hot – In Brazil everyone wears white for luck on New Year’s Eve symbolizing a new beginning. At midnight they head to the beach and into to the water jumping over seven waves making a wish for each wave.
Follow Pietro Boselli
Phat Cash – Filling your wallet with money or placing money under a rug on New Year’s Eve like they do in Romania and Eastern Europe is believed to bring wealth and prosperity.
Stock up – Make sure your cabinets are filled up before midnight to ward off hunger in the next year.
Easy Come, Easy Go — Open doors and windows before midnight. This let’s the old year’s troubles and woes out of your home and the hope and possibilities of new year enter easily!
Make Some Noise! – While still about six weeks away, the tradition of ringing bells, blowing horns, noise makers and fireworks at midnight comes from the Lunar New Year belief in scaring evil spirts away from the year ahead.
Leap for Luck – In Denmark, the custom is to stand on a chair and “leap” into the New Year at midnight to bring good luck and banish away evil spirits. (Don’t try this if you’ve had a few too many New Year’s spirits)
To A Grape New Year – In Spain, Mexico and throughout Latin America, people eat 12 grapes at midnight, each representing a wish for a month of the coming year.
Make a Splash! — To wash away evil spirits, in Puerto Rico they believe that dumping a bucket of water out the window at midnight will cleanse the new year.
Ya Mas! – On New Year’s Day hang and onion on your front door like the Greeks to symbolize birth and regrowth.
First Footing – A historical tradition in Scotland and Wales, it’s considered bad luck for the coming year if the first person to cross the threshold on January 1st is a woman or a red-haired man. (Call me crazy but if Harry and Megan were the first people to walk through the door on New Year’s Day, 2021 is pretty fucking AMAZING!)
First and Foremost – For superstitious Hungarians, what you don’t do on New Year’s Day sets the tone for the year ahead. Good Health -Don’t go to the Doctor; Peace – Avoid arguments with anyone; Prosperity – don’t remove anything from one’s home.
Resist Opening Strange Boxes – See above, and think about 2020 Pandora!
Best Wishes for
a Healthy and Happy 2021!