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Ten Things You’d Never want to be the One to Tell this President of the United States

(editor’s note:  we apologize for the technical issues on theOUTfront during the last 24 hour which have cause the site to crash and are reposting yesterday’s article.)

By Lawrence Pfeil, Jr.

On the third Monday of February, America celebrates Washington’s Birthday, a Federal Holiday established in 1885 to honor its first President.  George Washington’s actual birth date is February 22, 1731 except it’s not.  It’s actually February 11th because he was born in England which hadn’t adopted the Gregorian “Catholic” Calendar yet.

Presidents Day aka Presidents’ Day aka President’s Day is the state holiday which varies by locale, possession, and honoree(s).  We the people can’t even seem to agree on who the holiday is for, the First President of the United States, all the Presidents, or the current President.

But as sure as day follows night, if the 45th occupant of the Oval Office were asked who does the Presidential Holiday honor: first, all, or current? He would say, “It’s always been about him.”  This is the guy who also wanted his own Inauguration Day declared a National Holiday.

Can you imagine being the person having to tell him, “you can’t do that?”

He’s thrown “temper tantrums” and stormed out of meetings with Speaker, Nancy Pelosi and other high-ranking members of Congress.  When things don’t go his way, which usually mean someone obeyed the law, he’s frequently described as being “enraged,” “furious” and/or “volcanic.”

Cue: “Don’t Nobody Bring Me No Bad News”

Anyone walking into the Oval Office to deliver bad news had better be wearing asbestos underwear and made out their will.

Here are just a few things you’d never want to be the one having to tell the President.


“Ratings for the State of the Union were down 25%*”  *


“Sen Romney left a message, ‘Who’s your Secretary of State now?’”

(Photo Credit: ABC News)

“They’ve discontinued ‘Mar-a-Lago Sunset’ spray tan.”


“President Putin is on line one and he is in a mood.”


“Rachel Maddow is teasing tonight’s show singing, ‘Tinkle, Tinkle, Little Czar.’”

(Photo Credit: LGBTQ Nation)


“New York Attorney General, Letitia James is waiting in the Roosevelt Room.  She took off her wig and earrings. 

We’ve called Ben Carson to find out why.”

(Photo Credit: NY Post)


“A 10’ statue of you was just delivered to the lawn of Mar-a-Lago as a “peace offering” from Greta Thunberg.   

No sir it’s not marble. No not bronze.  Mr. President, it’s an ice sculpture.”

(photo credit: TLR Today)

“Sen Graham just announced his engagement… to Jamal Ali Johnson …a 28yo attorney with the ACLU.”


“This letter of resignation was delivered from Mr. Giuliani’s office. 

Michael Bloomberg has hired him.  For the immediate cessation of any and all work, it says he’ll actually get paid, a lot.”


“Chasten Buttigieg is here to measure the Office for his husband’s new drapes.”

(Photo credit: Josh Reynolds/For The Washington Post)



(Main Photo Credit: Ron Paul Institute)

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