March 5th is National Cheese Doodle Day (No kidding, it’s really a thing!)
Today we can truly honor America’s day-glow orange dusted “President” puffed with hot air. (Ever wonder what Steve Bannon uses to wash off the powder from his hands after he’s done manipulating his traffic cone puppet?)
Won’t you join us and tweet @realDonaldTrump cheesy tidings of the day? (He’d appreciate getting some love while he’s out golfing again.)
There are actually several origin legends about cheese doodles, not the man baby. (We’re pretty sure he’s a psych laboratory experiment gone wrong.) According to punchbowl.com,
“Cheese doodles are a snack food made with cornmeal that has been puffed, baked, and coated with cheddar cheese. Morrie Yohai invented the cheese doodle in the 1940s. After serving as a Marine in World War II, he returned to his home in the Bronx and took over the family business—a snack food company called Old London Foods.
During the 1960s, Wise Foods, Inc. acquired the company and cheese doodles became part of the potato chip division… The company produces over 15 million pounds of cheese doodles each year, enough to fill 36 Olympic-sized swimming pools!”
There have been nearly twenty different flavor variations of the bright orange snack since their creation and certainly more on the horizon. In honor of today’s holiday, we have come up with a few “Specialty Flavors” befitting America’s Cheese Doodle and Chief and his Administration.
Sean’s Hot and Spicer
Kellyanne’s Dried-up Tuna
Steve Bannon’s “White Only” American Cheese
Ben Carson’s Chocolate covered Xanax
Paul Ryan’s Milk Toast
Mitch McConnell’s Kentucky Fried Roadkill
Jeff Session’s Southern Cracker
Reince Priebus’ “Humus Free” White Bread
Trump’s Tremendously Aged New York Cheddar (pairs well with Russian vodka)
Read theOUTfront previous EXCLUSIVE PHOTO story here!